Bullying... A Teenage Struggle

Evolution; it's a theory that simply states living organisms change overtime to survive. Being the developed living organisms that we are, you'd think that we'd emotionally evolve as well, but that appears to not be the case. Ask anyone, no matter age, and they'd admit that they have taken  some part in bullying; the ones that say no are lying.  Bullying can lead to death, which obviously is not helping homo sapiens's survival rate.

Why do bullies do bully? It can't be that they're just apathetic and heartless. Hollywood says it's due to mishandled hardships. Parents and adults say it's a way for a person to get a power rush. Ignorant people say that it's just a phase. I say that it's insecure people wanting to make others insecure. They are weak; they need other's grief, power and confidence. This doesn't have to be prompted from some soap-opera worthy abuse from other individuals... trust me.

But how does speculating the reason for bullying help the victims? Bullies will bully no matter is you diagnose the cause. Note: I'm about to give my advice I tell my bullied friends. I have no experience with harsh bullying and am probably not actually helping those who are bullied but instead creating a long string of words. I say:
Don't get used to bullying. Stand up for yourself. I don't mean have some dramatic confrontation or even exchange in any sort of communication with the bully.
 First, I recommend faking that you don't care. Don't look at them. Don't cry in front of them. Don't speak back. They are emotional dementors that use your power and joy to get stronger. Unlike dementors, they are unmagical and ordinary. They want reactions, so stick it to them and don't show reactions.
The next step is feeling confident. I know that this is hard for people who have either lost confidence or have never had it, but there are ways to get it. I find confidence in things that I do well-- school, leaps in dance, random trivia about Disney and Netflix tv shows, long rants. It makes a person feel accomplished and will attract people who are similar.
The next step is to be more than open to friendships. The worst thing to do when getting bullied is to isolate yourself from the people who do care. Don't wait for your savior. All it can take is a few "hi"s or "hey"s to people walking down the hallway. It  shows that you want to be friends and can start long conversations and connections.
I mean the best option is to talk to an adult or depression center, but honestly, few rarely do.
Remember: You are a victim, but you can rise from it much easier than bully. You can be proactive.

I look at life like this: My emotional heart is protected with walls. These walls are bulletproof glass. They allow for people to get to see me and know me, but few can open the camouflaged glass door. The bulletproof layer is my confidence. It feels the negative blows, but doesn't let them break the glass. Eventually it repairs itself with the positive things found in life. So, wait and hold on. Your glass may be fragile, but life is a pattern and soon it will repair.

Before I Fall... An Analyzation

Disclaimer: I have no experience in the art of writing genuine reviews about a book. Of course, I wholeheartedly bsed my way through numerous book reports or projects from school, but honestly, never once did I give my short and simple opinion-- instead I opted for the broad philosophical approach. However, I shall try my hardest to break the pattern and give my feedback. As yet another winter storm has hit America's Eastern Coast, I was granted a week off, which equaled countless hours of boredom. I somehow in all my boredom found the time to go to the bookstore and pick up a novel. As you may have guessed, I chose the teen novel, Before I Fall, by Lauren Oliver. 

Summary: The main character, Samantha Kingston (Sam), is the classic mean popular girl-- superficial, selfish, unsympathetic and a biatch. In the group of popular girls (Ally, Sam, Lindsay and Elody), Sam was the once unpopular girl who is running from that unfortunate past by being a follower of the ringleader, Lindsay Edgecombe. The girls live carelessly and wildly and in the prologue it is clear that the future of Samantha is terminated by a driving accident. However, Sam wakes up the next morning and finds out that she's reliving the day of her death until she rights a wrong.  
On Day Two, Sam wakes wondering what has just happened to her. Through the entire day, Sam can't decide if she dreamt the night before or if she's having extreme déjà vu. As the day progresses, she realizes that she is actually reliving Cupid's Day, and that she has control over the way the day unfolds. 
On the third day, Sam attempts to prevent her death, by convincing her friends not to attend Kent's (the nerd friend from her unpopular days-- again cliche) party and stay in for a movie night instead. She is positive this plan is going to work and that tomorrow, she will be faced with a new day: February 13. The celebration is short lived when, news spread that Juliet (a bullied girl) has killed herself.

Once Sam realizes that her death and Juliet's death are intertwined, Sam gets to work trying to save them both. On both the fifth and sixth days, Sam tries, unsuccessfully, to save Juliet by sending her roses, speaking to her at the party, and chasing her through the woods to stop her from walking out on the highway.

On the final day, Sam wakes with a sense of peace, knowing that the ultimate sacrifice must be made: she must die before Juliet in order to save her. 

While all this is happening, Sam realizes how badly she’s treated everyone from strangers to her family. Oh, and of course the cliché storyline where Rob, her "dream boyfriend",  turns out to be a horny jerk and Kent is the caring boyfriend that’s always had a crush on her.

Review: I'll start out by saying that I'd classify this book as a teenager book-- the kind that bores me with the simple sentences and 4th grade vocabulary that simultaneously entertains me with the captivating storyline, which admittedly the childhood romance makes my heart get all sappy with predictable love. 

The beginning with the start of Samantha's current life was indeed a challenge for me to continue reading and resist the urge of putting the book down and give up on the horrible "protagonist", Sam. I do applaud Ms. Oliver for being able to change Sam from  a horrible self-absorbed teenager to a character I sympathize with enough to shed a tear. As Sam relives February 12, I, as a reader, am able to see her growth and change. At first her attempts at being a better person are so half-hearted, or ill-concieved you wonder if she's actually trying. And, I was the first to admit my loathe of Sam. I wanted to see her change right away, and she didn't. Though I didn't, do try and remember she's a spoiled teenager that hasn't been made to work for anything in her life. Then the realization comes and blah blah. 

Ending (Does Include Spoilers): After spending only five minutes Googling the book, I realize the ending is a rather large topic of discussion for the more vocal readers. I, being wish-washy, can see both arguments and concede to both. I, like many, wish that when Sam self-sacrificed and threw Juliet out of harm from the oncoming traffic, she was able to continue on with her life. I mean after all, she went through a 470 page revelation and deserves to live on with these new morals and fan-girl worthy boyfriend. Yet, at the same time, we can all admit that if we got the perfect ending, we would be complaining about how foreseeable the ending is and not appreciate the departing message that we're left with-- be kind to others and to know that your actions, no matter how insignificant they may seem, can have lasting consequences on both yourself and others.

The book, though not moving enough to get me to actually change, did make me question my part in other people's lives. Very few can go with spotless reputations and suppressing the snarky remarks that come to one's head when that certain loathsome person talks. I sincerely am going to try and make effort to stop the damage I ignorantly cause, but can anyone in reality actually change their personalities just like that? Till then...

Resolutions

Disclaimer: Admittedly this post has come late. It's the end of January for pete's sake! However, I argue the case that: a. good resolutions take time to think of and even more time to plan how one is going to complete their resolution b. my blog was started yesterday and c. I'm a procrastinator at heart so posting this late comes rather naturally. Though a considered atheist, very indecisive and regrettably a realist, I do believe in resolutions for a New Year. Not only does it start the year in a blindly optimistic way, but it allows people to have the ability to work towards change without having the burden of prior event's discouragement. In 2014, I hope to correct three of my errors. Three seems like a good lucky number, after all it is a fairytale number, that can still be achievable. 

The first flaw of mine is stop being a judgmental arse. Yes, it make come with the territory of being a girl teenager; however, it makes me sometimes feel disgusted with myself. I harshly judge, mainly one one aspect of a person, and don't easily change my mind. I do take pride in not judging based on a superficial level, but habits such as smoking, spitting or not having any motivation make me rude to the person. To make matters worse, my rudeness is involuntary, awful thoughts just daily float into my head. Luckily, theses thoughts are just in my head and I rarely verbally communicate them. But what good does it do me to waste negative energy on a person that I don't care about or even know?

Secondly, I want to stop being an internet addict. I am honestly getting worried about how much I obsess over sites such as, Netflix, Youtube, Pinterest and Gmail. I'm not sure how I'll fix it, because these countless wasted hours normally begin with me innocently needing the internet for homework. Then comes the two hour frenzy. 
I hope the scientists are mistaken and watching/gazing at technology and screens doesn't kill brain cells or else I fear a very stupid generation of up and coming adults. 

The last goal of mine is to be more proactive. Instead of pinning things to do and home improvement, I want to try some. Or instead of making a mental complaint that my room looks like a tornado came through twice, I'll get up and clean it. Or when I'm sitting at my desk on a Friday night doing homework, I don't want to wait for friends to invite me to participate in life, I want to be the initiator. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledor 

It's rare that I ever follow or even give my resolutions a second glance after making them, yet I hope that writing them to the public will motivate me to actually try whether I succeed or not. "Leave comments on your new year's resolutions", said the girl pretending that someone is actually reading her blog. Till then...

Beginnings

Like all strangers or random people who have crossed paths with yours, I need an introduction- a statement that says this is me and this is why we should prolong our crossing of paths.

Once upon a time, a young and fair maiden was born and grew into a beautiful young woman with patience and kindness to all that she met. She was adored and always had her schedule filled with spending quality time with close friends and family. She grew up and fell in love with a wealthy prince, had friendly and essentially perfect kids and no evil queen to defeat... Sadly, this maiden is a figment of my imagination and isn't nor will ever be me, Mei (inconveniently my mom decided to keep some of my Asian roots and spelled May the Chinese way).

 In reality, Mei is a typical teenage sloth. By "teenage sloth", I'm referring to the teenage girls who wish for an exciting and meaningful life but instead spend the day on Netflix, YouTube, Pinterest in their beds curled up with cats and ice cream. Yes, this is the story of my arguably dull life so far. However, when I don't fill my potentially excellent brain with canceled shows, Disney/Harry Potter fangirling sessions and ideas for the home that I will never do, my thoughts are, at least for me, non-vapid, interesting and worth discussing, which I guess is what led me to this... a simple blog.